My head's underwater/ But I'm breathing fine

Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections

 

All Of Me

- John Legend

A better Wednesday

Today has been a good day. Like a really productive one. 

Midterms were at 6.30pm so I crawled out of bed at 11am after 5 hours of sleep and managed to somehow make it down to the reading room without snapping at anyone. And just like that, Siew Woon, Damien, Alan and I spent the entire day reviewing bloody fair values, inventory, PPE, notes to the financial statements and so, so, so much more. Thank goodness for teh bing*2.

Despite how hectic it's been and how much I proclaim my hate for accounting, I secretly love burying myself into something like that - working out math, checking against answers, groaning, then trying it again. I really could do it for hours. I love the sense of satisfaction that I get out of it - knowing that I've got the concept down, that I've been productive and that I've gotten the correct answer (okay this doesn't happen all that often but still). Kinda' like dance, I think?

The late night sessions are reaaaaaally starting to take a toll though but I'm so blessed to have people like

- Edwin who puts up with my constant "EDDDDD I CAN'T", "Study w me?? WHERE R U", "WHERE R U NOW", while still coming over to school me in accounting

- My accounting group mates who sit around the table in class with me laughing about how we're going to fail mid-terms "HAHAHA WE NEED THE NOTES TO THE FINANCIAL STATEMENTS? HAHAHAHA FUCK" 

- Girlfriends: Jan, Shirlyn, Yin Min, Angela and Emiry who just automatically made a good day better and a bad day good again. Also just spent good quality time by letting myself into Jan/Shirlyn/Yinmin's rooms and staying there forever. 

But damn am I glad those mid-terms are over. Perhaps now I'll start looking more like a human.

A human with projects to finish, cupcakes and brownies to bake, online shopping to do, vacations to plan, an internship to find, froyo machines to buy and an exchange program to sort out (ESADE will you please just get your planned curriculum down already).

 

This is going to take awhile

I was the one you always dreamed of,
You were the one I tried to draw.
How dare you say it's nothing to me?
Baby, you're the only light I ever saw.

 

Slow Dancing in A Burning Room 
 - John Mayer

I could do with a drink or two. Maybe 5.

Recess week is a lie

This is the last day of recess week, which of course is a huge lie fabricated by the universities because nothing has happened that has put the "recess" in recess week. For 4 out of the 9 glorious days of 'freedom', Noel and I took some kids from the Strisuksa School in Roi Et, Thailand out for a tour in Singapore. I have to admit that we couldn't stop questioning why we'd ever agree to do such a thing, especially on our recess week when we could be somewhere on a beach in Bali instead. But it turned out to be pretty worth it, with the highlight being the last day at the airport when things turned to becoming this major photo-taking session + we had a really good time with our other volunteers which we wouldn't made been able to do without. I guess we never really realised how much of an impact we could make on the kids - even though I'd yelled at them that very same morning about being overly tardy. So now I have about 30 Thai teenagers on Facebook being their usual teenage self, updating their statuses just about every 45 mins. It's rather heartening though when they put up photos of the trip, post statuses about how much they miss Singapore or drop us a message saying thanks and that they miss us. That said, Noel and I are still going to think twice before accepting anything like this again.



Anyway, ever since dance and this Thai tour, I've been moping around trying to tie up bits of my resume and cover letters to get sent out because the deadline iscoming up reaaaaaaal soon. It feels like I'm slowly losing track of time and any sense of direction at all again. I feel like I'm just working on mundane crap day in and day out - until I wake up one fine morning and realise I have school tomorrow. Slightly excited to develop my negatives though and see if I've captured anything this time hahahahahahahah.

Quindanze 2014

As someone who basically has 2 left feet/no sense of balance/zero body coordination ability/cannot keep rhythm, joining dance was a huge thing. But through the lo0n0n0n0n00ng 6 month journey that seemed like it would never end, I've never regretted it. Sure it got frustrating having to come back to school early on weekends, having a failing complexion from the late nights and lack of sleep and being constantly frustrated with my body's lack of ability to execute the moves. Don't even get me started on the core exercises. 

I don't think I've ever been so committed to something, really. Given that time in SSIS was always by seasons and we were never really that hardcore about winning something + I suppose you can't really have basketball training 7 days a week for months on end because 1) the season isn't that long 2) others want to use the gym 3) which coach wants to stay 7 days a week in school? Well anyway it's been different from my other activities and I guess its through the commitment that we've all spent so much time together that I've gained so much love for our Quindanze team. It's been really nice too, being able to be part of such a family and having something to belong to like that. Also works as a really good excuse for procrastinating on bloody Accounting tutorials that really have been piling up. 

I've made so many new friends, met people that I never knew existed (sorry Damien), reconnected with people I thought I'd never speak to again and found a family in this team. So....... disregarding the 13th placing, we've all done well. After some point in the journey, the worries about the potential ranking ceases to exist and it becomes more focused on our own personal development. How far we've progressed as individuals who've had to balance the late nights and strange men (Jayden), the ever increasing workload (damn you accounting), the severe lack of sleep (4 hours/day) and still found it possible to love and motivate each other. 

On top of that though I have to say that I am glad to have had Jayden as a partner again because we're just so comfortable with working with each other. That + the stupid arguments we have + the occasional good moments + how he actually can be a nice and patient human being with plenty of biscuits. As ehrogijreogieghe-ed as we were when we got to know we were partners, it actually has turned out to be an amazing time with the man who came up with the term Ruben. 

So now my nights are going to be spent working on accounting and spent surfing the net and I already feel the emptiness from not having to prep for training at 3 later. Was also so so weird walking out of the cult room last night not saying "see you guys tmrrrr" but instead "see you guys.... around" and knowing that it was going to be a long time before I'd step into that room again. 

I miss Quindanze already and I'm so, so, so glad I joined. I'll always be grateful for the help and support Riana and YC provided, the encouragement for the long nights (spent twirling with Jayden/sewing tutus and bralets/doing nothing in particular/fun run/so much more) and that amazing emotional run we did that honestly blew my mind. 

All I've got is basically a bunch of thank yous to just about everyone, lots of happiness, quite a huge bit of emptiness now and plenty of emotions to sort through before I can get back on track with accounting. A part of me wishes this would never have to end. 

As they say, it's the end of HOCC now, also known as the official start of the academic year for the Quindanzers.