I've been feeling pretty stuck lately -  like the drafts of unpublished blog posts, typed out, deleted, rewritten, saved only to be deleted weeks later - photos in Lightroom that I've edited over and over, photos from exchange 2 years ago, my final semester in uni, New York and Bangkok. Somehow there are always imperfect details - a tad too blue, too warm, too saturated, too grey, too distorted, overly edited, poor grammar, the inability to find the right word - and with that, I struggle with finding the perfect balance.

And this has been frustrating in so, so many ways constantly feeling like my life is stuck in a rut, a hamster running on a wheel, if you will. No real destination, but putting one foot in front of the other just to try and get through, to get by. And ultimately achieving nothing but time lost and faded passions.

So here I am, in the humid, tropical country Singapore is, thinking back to that one Anthropology class I managed to wake myself up for in chilly Barcelona two years ago where we spent 4 hours discussing one topic - how dangerous a comfort zone can be. How we must push ourselves out of our bubble, expanding the squares bit by bit, stepping out of it again, retracting, then out again and again because as painful and lengthy it is, that is how we improve, it is how we gain perspective and it is how we grow.

Well here's my first step out of this rut - an extremely raw, unedited and poorly written post - but it's something, isn't it?

The weekend of all weekends

First things first, I realise this blog is dead. And with that I also realise that this isn't the first time I'm bringing this up. So, do I have any plans to change that? Not really.

But this weekend was so ace it truly deserves a post. It was the weekend of all weekends, and of course the most expensive of them all but I'm a grown woman now so I'll spend my money however I like and you have no say in it.

Ok so here's what went down:

1. I did something completely new!!!! I tried iFLY and it was an insane experience that left me drooling all over the wind tunnel. And I mean this in the most literal sense cos my mouth was open from all that exhilaration and also due to my inability to keep my fat self steady while being thrown around by the insane wind. 
2. Managed to get some shopping done. This usually happens never because I'm poor 11/10 of the time and tend to make poor life decisions so I forbid myself from buying anything that has a defect more than a loose thread. 
3. Did my own laundry (and didn't iron it but... ok moving on)
4. Finally tried out Tanjong Beach Club and ate at some of my old favourites - this now includes Hai Di Lao which will soon bankrupt me
5. Drove to and fro brunch which means I had to park twice, and I did it with a tad less panic than usual. This means success for myself and my dad because that also meant an incredibly high chance of me crashing the car 2/2 times. 
6. Caught a hell lot of Pokemon. Laugh all you want but now I'll be strutting my way down the CBD with a brand new Pikachu, Omanyte, Vaporeon, Growlithe, Golduck, Vulpix and many more I'd like to name but I now realise how much of a loser I sound like SO,
7. Spent QUALITY time with my family and dog which never happens anymore because christ, work/sleep/fam/social life balance is difficult. 
8. Took loooong, slow impromptu walks with Jia against the amazing sunsets, under the night skies and with the sort of breeze Singapore is blessed with almost never.

And I'll have you know that I did all that while on my period. So cringe all you want at the thought of that, but if you think your working adult ass can spend all your weekends like that while on your 2 heaviest flow days, then ok fine you'll be my inspo.

In the meantime, here's another work week where I will eat bread to prevent any further damage to the bank account and claw my way into the MRTs.

Punggol

Last Sunday we headed to Punggol for a grad shoot. I'm not sure why planned it and thought it was a good idea to drink the night before a graduation photoshoot. That's right - none of that was impromptu. We literally planned for failure.

Clearly we thought ourselves better than the kind of people to end up with hangovers.

I also thought myself to be better than the kind of chick who surrenders after a few drinks but moving on.

We planned on having the shoot at the Punggol lalang fields but they'd closed by the time we got there so we wandered around and settled on an unassuming road. But the magical Derrick Chin and his XT1 made it so much more.

F@m!ry

I love this :')

I swear the grad robes really do double up as winter clothing 'cos it traps an incredible amount of heat.

This is us laughing at our bleak future

Thanks so much Derrick for all these 100/100 (!!!) photos and a bloody good time (even though I'm never heading back to Punggol again). Is it wrong to be obsessed with your own grad shoot photos because I can't stop looking at them and I think people are starting to judge me for it.

Went to an SDP rally months ago but I'm waaaay behind my editing as usual so here we go.

RIP KAT

While majority of the world mourns the death of snapchat, I sit here, at my dining table - a half eaten durian seed in one hand, and the other empty to type furiously about the loss of kickasstorrents.

Although the emotions seep away with time because my typing isn't so furious after all with only one hand, and of no help at all - how great this durian tastes.

This marks the era of an even angst-er mei ping (if possible) because I hereby bid goodbye to relaxing nights spent giggling to Modern Family or Fresh Off the Boat.

 FML and RIP peace, serenity and whatever zen-ness I could possess.

Reasons why I don't trust my brothers

Photos I take of them: 

Photos they take of me:

This might possibly be the most abandoned site on the Internet but I reckon I'm PMSing so here are 2 things


1. Why do hotels continue to use bar soap despite the fact that

• no one who stays in a hotel actually uses A L L, or most of it for that matter 
• it's unhygienic since you dirty it when you rub it all over your hands - then the next human who uses it gets that crap on themselves, and their own crap on the soap - repeat
• the packaging and soap gets thrown away each time, 

when they could just have classy (or ugly) looking soap-dispensers in bottle form which wouldn't exactly require them to dump out the soap every time it's used? I mean, if it's a branding thing it wouldn't be too difficult to slap a sticker on the soap bottle, would it? Someone enlighten me please.

2. No one should be entitled to call a country "theirs" just because they're born in it, belong to a race majority there, or have had a long line of ancestors living in the same place. The way I see it, there are plenty of foreigners who could be better Singaporeans than some Singaporeans are. And I'd say the same applies for other countries out there (cue sarcastic smiley).